“Self-compassion is simply giving the same kindness to ourselves that we would give to others.”
Recently, a young woman said some unkind things online to my daughter and me. The fierce mama bear in me got all enraged! How dare she!? I called my daughter and ranted and raved and was determined to let this girl have it, publicly, on Facebook – because that’s what mature, kind, caring, middle-aged women do, right?
As they were growing up, I taught my kids to set aside their egos and take the high road in these instances. Basically, don’t pick fights and don’t respond to anger with anger. A favorite line of my husband’s is, “No good can come from saying that.” And, another is, “If YOU think that’s the right thing to DO!” (Picture me and the kids rolling our eyes at that one.)
But, this situation was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I’d had enough! I was TIRED of always taking the high road, and I was going to defend the honor of my family. Throwing kindness out the door, I decided she was going to feel my fury!
And then, the Divine tapped me on the shoulder. Argh. “Hello? Chanin? What happened to compassion and kindness? Is this behavior appropriate? Maybe you should see what her story is before you lash out.” “Fine!”, I said, dredging up my best pre-teen attitude.
Kindness Always Wins
I put my wounded ego aside, and I did some online research to find out this girl’s story. Reason dictated that there was probably something from her past causing her to respond this way. Alas, it turns out this girl had suffered some childhood trauma. Most often, when people are rude and angry and lash out at others, it is because they are reacting from their wounded state. Consequently, fighting fire with fire is not a compassionate or helpful solution. So, instead of coming at her with a tit-for-tat response, I offered her kindness and sympathy.
Obviously, I don’t know if my efforts made a difference in her life, and I don’t need to know. But, most importantly, I had no regrets because I did the “right thing”. Additionally, I set a positive example for the girl, my daughter, and everyone else who saw the exchange. If you’re going to talk the talk, you have to walk the walk. Yes?
Lesson for the day – compassion and kindness are never the wrong responses.
- Ponder this, and if you feel like it, do a free write.
- When have you extended compassion to people who have “harmed” you in some way? That is the ultimate test of compassion, wouldn’t you agree?
- Do a free write for these connected questions too.
- What would your life be like if you regularly treated yourself to that same compassion when YOU have done something that you perceive as “wrong?” How would you feel? Where would you live? What job would you have? What would your hobbies be?
Sending you peace, harmony, and kindness today. And, intention for “doing the right thing”, no matter what!
If you found this article helpful and would like to do more in-depth healing of your trauma utilizing The Vibrational UPgrade™ System like I did, please book a 30 minute session with me to discuss how I may help you.
I submitted two essays for this #1 bestselling book, 365 Soulful Messages – The Right Guidance at the Right Time. Over 200 authors submitted essays about meaningful messages that they received, from either here on Earth or beyond, that helped to shift their life in a positive way. The titles of mine are “Our Best is Good Enough” and “How Synchronicities Saved My Life”.
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