Remember that children’s book, “Are You My Mother?” about the little bird who wandered around looking for its mom?
It seems like lots of people are doing the same thing, but instead are looking for someone to save them. We go to psychologists, counselors, coaches, rabbis, and priests. We search for a life partner to “complete us.” Additionally, we read self-help books ad nauseum and seek out yoga teachers, thought leaders and gurus to save us from ourselves. And yet, we regularly STILL feel like something is missing. We are just not “ourselves” yet. There is still that yearning within us for that “thing” that is going to turn our lives around and bring us happiness and prosperity.
Some of us may think to ourselves – if only I had a nicer house. We may also berate ourselves with thoughts such as – if only I had gone to college and if only I had not done that and done this instead. What if I had better parents when I was growing up? If only my spouse was nicer to me I would feel loved. Life would be better if only I could find a better job and make more money. If only, if only, if only.
Often, we feel lost, depressed, and sometimes suicidal. Some of us turn to drugs, alcohol, food, shopping, gambling, and sex to try to fill the void we feel inside. We sit night after night binging on Netflix, waiting for something to change – for something or someone to make everything better.
FINDING THE SAVIOR WITHIN US
Consequently, we beat ourselves up. “What is wrong with me? Where is this person who is going to “fix” me? Why does life have to be such a struggle?” We want SOMEBODY to love us and assure us everything is going to be okay. Sometimes, we might get frustrated with Source. “God, why have you forsaken me? I feel so lost and alone.” This plea to God – this despair – reminds me of the Queen song, “Somebody to Love.”
“Can anybody find me somebody to love?
Each morning I get up a I die a little
Can barely stand on my feet
(take a look at yourself)
Take a look in the mirror and cry
Lord, what you’re doing to me”
There is a key line in the lyrics above. “TAKE A LOOK AT YOURSELF – TAKE A LOOK IN THE MIRROR.”
No one OUTSIDE of you is coming to save you. YOU are your own Savior! YOU have the power to change your life!
The last line of the lyrics is important as well. “Lord, what YOU’RE doing TO me.” Source is not doing anything TO you. The Universe/God/Source ALWAYS has our backs and is trying to help us. Thankfully, we have been given free will which means we GET to CHOOSE to help ourselves with the opportunities and people that are put in our paths every day. For instance, if this blog is triggering a reaction within you, please take that as a message from the Divine!
IMPACT OF TRAUMA ON SAVIOR COMPLEX
I spent about 3 ½ years collaborating with my mentor, Alison, on my own mindset and overall transformation. Often, I would ask her, “Am I there yet?” Unfortunately, I would get frustrated with HER because my progress was not as fast as I thought it “should be.” The challenge was that I had SOOO much trauma to overcome that had warped my mindset and my perspective of myself and the world. I was STILL looking for something or someone OUTSIDE of me (my mentor) to “fix” me. I was putting the responsibility for my “recovery” and happiness on her which was extremely unfair, but I did not know better yet. Sadly, this was a result of the trauma that had caused me to become co-dependent.
When we have been subjected to trauma as a child, it can manifest as low self-esteem, a lack of self-love and co-dependency and all of this impacts the rest of our lives until we address it. Unfortunately, we can become virtually addicted to helping everyone except ourselves. We want to be the savior for others – not realizing the person who needs our help the most is US!!!
What would your life be like if you took responsibility for your own well-being? Who would you be if you were no longer the victim? How could your life change for the better if you recognized your own Divinity? And maybe most importantly, how do you feel about being your OWN hero?!
Now, this does not mean you have to go it alone! Absolutely seek out a therapist and/or energy medicine practitioner like me. Find a supportive community. Read those inspirational memes. Say those affirmations. Breathe in those essential oils. Practice yoga and meditation. But KNOW at the end of the day YOU are saving yourself. It can be such a subtle mindset shift, but it can lead to immense transformation and FREEDOM.
LISTENING TO OUR HEARTS
Take a deep breath or two and focus on your HEART. Maybe even close your eyes. How does it feel in your body to know YOU are in control? YOU are your own Savior! Empowering, yes? Maybe even a little scary? Quite possibly. Our minds are here to keep us safe, and yours may be freaking out a little bit at the idea of you being POWERFUL and your OWN Savior. Our POWER comes from our hearts – not from our minds.
Listen to your heart, my friend. That is where you will connect to your Divine self that wants the best for you and is always presenting solutions for you to be your own Savior. Will you listen?
If you are ready to take a stand and be your own Savior and desire further Guidance, please book a free WakeUP call with me. Our Divine selves can have a chat to help you find your true north. You at not lost or alone. I can help you navigate to your safe haven within you.
Sending you so much love, clarity, and COURAGE!!!