forgive, forgiveness, unforgiveness

Forgiveness isn’t just a blessing you deliver to another human being. Forgiveness is also a gift you give yourself.

Robin S. Sharma

The word “forgiveness” can bring an immediate feeling of disgust for many people and feelings of sadness for others.  Before we begin, let’s define it.

Forgiveness is defined as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness.

Whew!  Is it any wonder so many of us struggle with it?  Forgive people who harmed us?!  That’s crazy talk, right?

But, what do we gain from being angry and holding onto grudges?  First, we deplete our energy by focusing on someone we’re mad at.  It takes a lot of effort to stay ticked off! And, when we hold onto anger and unforgiveness, we actually can create illness and pain within our bodies.  As you can see, our anger is not harming the people from the past.  They don’t have headaches, ulcers, back pain, depression or anxiety because we’re upset with them.  Only WE are feeling the pain.  So, what’s the point in holding onto it?

Forgiveness is a Choice

Now, I understand why people get upset and harbor ill-will towards others.  I know I have had SO many reasons!  Some of you may have been physically abused, robbed, or verbally assaulted. Or, maybe it was a really lame reason like a friend didn’t return your phone call or your chainsaw.  Lastly, maybe a childhood friend stole your wagon, and you just have never gotten over it.  Therefore, every time you think about it you get tense and upset all over again.  But, do you really think Shelley remembers this grievance?  No, she does not!  Your unforgiveness is not even on her radar!  Umm…yeah, that’s a personal example. 🙂

I’ve heard a lot of people say, “I know I should forgive him, but I just CAN’T.”  That right there is an acknowledgement that unforgiveness is a CHOICE. Choosing to forgive is definitely one of the most difficult acts of compassion and love one can do for oneself.  Keyword – for ONESELF.  At the end of the day, forgiveness really is about YOU and your mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being.

Although, sometimes people do ASK for forgiveness.  I have certainly done that many times when I knew I had behaved badly or said something unkind.  In those instances, if we consciously withhold forgiveness we are being spiteful and that is definitely not healthy. Now two people continue to suffer when it is within OUR power to change the situation.  Again, forgiveness is a choice.  We ALL have the power to do it.  Let’s start using our power for good, shall we?  Anywhere and everywhere you’re harboring unforgiveness, would you like to release it?  Start today!

Today’s Exercise

Sit quietly with your eyes closed, if you’re comfortable with doing that, and focus on the rhythm of your breathing, as if you are riding it like a wave.  Now, imagine your heart as a huge pink ball of light – big enough for you to sit inside.  As you sit inside your heart, look to your left, right, above and below and notice you are floating inside the light.  You become aware of how endless the space is within your heart.  It is light, open and peaceful, supportive and empty.  It feels expansive, like the Universe, and you sense that it is filled with love and compassion for you – ALL parts of you.

Sense how the light, your heart, is eternal and peaceful, with only love and acceptance of you.  Imagine any struggle or issue being released into a bubble that merely floats away.  The immense joy that you feel in recognition of this happening opens your heart even further.  Now, allow yourself to be held in this space as your heart is cleansed and healed.  Finally, when you are ready, open your eyes and give thanks for the healing you have received.

Need Assistance?

If you found this article about forgiveness helpful and would like to do more in-depth healing of your trauma utilizing The Vibrational UPgrade™ System like I did, please book a 30 minute session with me to discuss how I may help you.

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Need Inspiration?

I submitted two essays for this #1 bestselling book, 365 Soulful Messages – The Right Guidance at the Right Time.  Over 200 authors submitted essays about meaningful messages that they received, from either here on Earth or beyond, that helped to shift their life in a positive way.  The titles of mine are “Our Best is Good Enough” and “How Synchronicities Saved My Life”.

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stress, peace, healing trauma, energy medicine

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