“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.”
We’ve spent the week looking at compassion with the lens focused on you since “compassion starts at home”. For a moment, let’s turn that focus to others. What do you feel or think when you see someone struggling with some aspect of life?
Maybe they’re homeless, they have a job they hate, they have an addiction, they have a weight problem, they are passive, etc. Do you think, “Hey, I wonder what I could do to help that person?” OR, do you judge them and think, ”Well, if they hadn’t made all those crappy choices they wouldn’t be in this predicament.”?
Are you judging and that bias is keeping you from feeling compassion for another person? Have you ever seriously thought about that? We all make poor decisions that lead to negative consequences. Some of us make more than others! And, as we know, often this is due to events from our lives that led us to believe we are worthless, incompetent, unsafe, not lovable, etc.
Since you’ve been looking at your own traumas and false beliefs this week, do you have a better understanding of how people get themselves into these situations? I hear a “but” coming from some of you. Somehow, their bad decision is not as justifiable or forgivable as your bad decision. That’s like, from a religious perspective, believing your sin is less sinful than someone else’s sin. Do you see the ridiculousness of that?
Judging Does Not Equal Compassion
We are all wounded in some way and behave according to our perception of the circumstances in our lives. Without judging, let’s look at two teenage boys who have a drug addiction. They both are smoking pot after school every day. Eventually, this behavior leads to a serious addiction to heroin. Both boys get caught by the police. HOWEVER, one boy has a strong family support system that has the time and money to get him help. The other boy is being raised by a single mom who has to work 3 jobs to pay bills and doesn’t have the time or money to get her son the help he needs.
Eventually, her son runs away from home, doesn’t finish school, and ends up homeless. The boy with the strong support system gets treatment for his addiction, finishes school, and turns his life around. Do you see where I am going with this? Because of life circumstances that were not within their control, the consequences of their actions were extremely different. Yet, both boys are deserving of our compassion. Yes?
When we have conditioning and circumstances that have negatively impacted us and our belief system, it is extremely difficult to be able to make better choices, no matter how badly we want to turn things around. I know from experience! And, I’m sure if you think about your own life, you can come up with at least one thing you’re struggling to change whether it is your eating habits, exercise regimen, or even your “screen time”. Therefore, imagine how difficult it is to overcome and change more serious situations or habits.
Compassion for All!
Now, let’s turn the lens back to you. No matter what happened in your past and regardless if you caused your circumstances, you deserve compassion. Read that sentence again. This is truth. You did the best you could with the cards you held at the time. Now, you can exchange the cards in your hand for new ones or continue to play the same ones that are not leading you to the prize. NO situation is permanent. You can make new choices!
Feeling and offering compassion for yourself and others is like building a muscle. It may be difficult at first. Maybe it feels awkward and uncomfortable because of all the preconceived notions you have about who deserves your care and concern. And, this weak “muscle” causes you to occasionally judge others (and yourself) for mistakes made. But, with time and repetition, it becomes easier, and eventually it – compassion – is your default reaction, not judging.
If you’re familiar with the Myers-Briggs personality types, for years I was an INFJ – the “J” stands for “judging”. After doing all this work within the Vibrational UPgrade™ System, I now am an INFP – “P” stands for “perceiving”. We CAN rewire our brains to change our mindsets and even our “NATURE”, and I am proof!
Now, there will be times when you’ll slip into judging mode, like I did earlier in the week. (Read Day 5’s Installment.) And, that’s okay. We are not perfect and are always evolving! We all have our “moments” that we are not proud of, but it is how we respond to them that determines the course of our lives. Let us move forward with compassion for all!
Sending you peace, love, and compassion! Blessings to you! Thank you so very much for participating in this blog series. It is my most sincere desire that you have been helped in some way! <3
While the various exercises I suggested this week may seem unrelated to compassion, I assure you they are. I highly suggest you utilize them many times so you can begin to “work that muscle” and feel the difference. And, here is a final prayer/ritual. Remember, don’t analyze it!
Say aloud, “I release all aspects of my past that now need to end, according to divine grace and my highest good. I forgive you. I forgive myself. Go in peace. Nothing is more powerful than love, and I allow unconditional love to have its way in my life now. So be it “.
Interested in Healing Your Trauma?
It is my sincere hope that you found this series about developing compassion helpful! These exercises just touch the surface of the false beliefs and conditioning that has been negatively impacting you. If you want to truly be free of your trauma and receive some in-depth healing utilizing the same method I used, The Vibrational UPgrade™ System,, please book a 30 minute session with me today to discuss how I may help you..
I submitted two essays for this #1 bestselling book, 365 Soulful Messages – The Right Guidance at the Right Time. Over 200 authors submitted essays about meaningful messages that they received, from either here on Earth or beyond, that helped to shift their life in a positive way. The titles of mine are “Our Best is Good Enough” and “How Synchronicities Saved My Life”.
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